{"id":827,"date":"2021-12-06T04:48:55","date_gmt":"2021-12-06T04:48:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/?p=827"},"modified":"2022-02-07T00:55:45","modified_gmt":"2022-02-07T00:55:45","slug":"my-recovery-bank-account","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/my-recovery-bank-account\/","title":{"rendered":"My Recovery Bank Account"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><em><a href=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/document\/d\/1OmP_eneSyUSjoMiT-5w65yfOTVNA5JEJ\/edit\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/docs.google.com\/document\/d\/1OmP_eneSyUSjoMiT-5w65yfOTVNA5JEJ\/edit\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Para espa\u00f1ol, haga clic aqu\u00ed<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hey everybody, I&#8217;m Michoel and I&#8217;m a sexaholic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:100px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>What&#8217;s this, no applause?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anyway&#8230;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the day of my first meeting, I found myself sitting in the office of a long-term sober member. It was the first time I&#8217;d ever told another human being about my problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He told me many things, but one line in particular struck me. He was telling me about the addictive process. And then he said something that really struck me: <em>&#8220;being an addict means that over time a sort of pressure builds up inside you. And when a pot of water gets hot enough &#8211; nothing can stop it &#8211; it boils.&#8221;<\/em> I really related to that idea. That\u2019s exactly how it felt. I really <em>did<\/em> feel like pressure was building up inside me. And when it built up enough, that repressed power would burst forth, easily toppling whatever meager defenses I had constructed, and I acted out. I <em>couldn&#8217;t <\/em>not act out. When that time came, the slightest thing could set it off. <em>&#8220;Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent&#8230; we were without defense against the first drink&#8221; <\/em>(AA p. 24)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That to me is the addictive process in a nutshell. Unless I can somehow break out of the cycle, and prevent the pressure from building up to begin with, I will always act out, forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our program offers the tools to relieve this pressure, so the \u201cpot never boils\u201d. And I&#8217;d like to share a specific attitude that helps me work my program, one day at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Recovery Bank account<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I don&#8217;t actually remember who I first heard this from, but it has become absolutely vital to my program.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>You have a bank account. Instead of money, it stores &#8220;actions of recovery&#8221; (we&#8217;ll get to those in a minute).<\/li><li>Every recovery action you do goes into the account.<\/li><li>Now, lust has &#8220;stolen your card&#8221;, and makes regular &#8220;purchases&#8221;, whether you like it or not. So the account balance will slowly but steadily decline on its own. It cannot stay full without me constantly depositing more actions.<\/li><li>I can add sober actions much faster than they\u2019re taken away. In this way I can quickly build up a nice balance.<\/li><li>As my balance grows, I&#8217;ll feel more comfortable, serene, and connected. My need for lust will decrease. I&#8217;ll be less &#8220;thirsty&#8221;. My internal \u201daddict pressure\u201d goes down.<\/li><li>If I stop adding new actions, my balance will begin to shrink. My discomfort and anxiety go up. My pull to lust increases. That pressure builds up again. After a while I&#8217;m in &#8220;dry drunk&#8221; territory.<\/li><li>If the account hits zero, the &#8220;water boils&#8221;. The dam breaks. I will immediately act out at the first opportunity. (If I haven&#8217;t acted out yet, the account is not yet empty, top it up while there\u2019s still time!)<\/li><li>And every time my balance drops, all it takes is some more sober action to get me back to a good place.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>If I&#8217;m working my program just enough to keep above zero, I&#8217;ll just barely stay sober. But If I work a strong, well rounded program under the guidance of my sponsor, my &#8220;recovery balance&#8221; will grow, and it will keep me at a comfortable distance from acting out. (While <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/free-from-obsession-not-temptation\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/free-from-obsession-not-temptation\/\">lust temptations will still pop up<\/a>, the chance that I will act on them is very small)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Finally, if I keep up a steady stream of program actions, under the guidance of my sponsor and Higher Power, I will stay sober forever, God willing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Now, a few important points.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What are these &#8220;actions of recovery?&#8221;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>An &#8220;action of recovery&#8221; is exactly that: an action that furthers my recovery.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here are some examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Making phone calls and honestly sharing what&#8217;s going on<\/li><li>Putting time into the Step work my sponsor has assigned me<\/li><li>Explicitly sharing my secrets (the harder and more shameful, the better)<\/li><li>Honestly checking in with my sponsor\u00a0<\/li><li>Following my sponsor&#8217;s directions (especially when I don&#8217;t want to)<\/li><li>Making time for and working with sponsees (if my sponsor says I&#8217;m up to that)<\/li><li>Taking actions of service (especially at home, or when nobody sees me)<\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/god-as-we-experience-him\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/god-as-we-experience-him\/\">Talking to my Higher Power<\/a> in my own words<\/li><li><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/trust-that-god-has-a-plan\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/trust-that-god-has-a-plan\/\" target=\"_blank\">Trusting my Higher Power<\/a><\/li><li>Attending meetings<\/li><li>Making amends when I harm someone<\/li><li>Program writing (such as fear &amp; gratitude lists, &#8220;spot check&#8221; inventories when disturbed, Step 11 inventories at night, <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/a-letter-to-god\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/a-letter-to-god\/\" target=\"_blank\">letters to God,<\/a> etc.)<\/li><li>Working on my character defects, like trying to be responsible at work instead of wasting time<\/li><li>Self-care: eating a good breakfast, going for a walk or working out, sleeping well, or letting myself relax in healthy ways (like enjoying a fun show, good music, a game night with friends, etc.)<\/li><li>Taking the actions of love towards others in my life (like taking out the garbage, leaving love notes for spouse or kids, buying someone a birthday present, making sure the bathroom is clean when I leave, etc.)<\/li><li>Taking &#8220;outside actions&#8221; that are important to my recovery and that my HP is proud of, like <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/mental-health-in-recovery\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/mental-health-in-recovery\/\" target=\"_blank\">going to my therapist<\/a>, psychiatrist, clergy, religious services, yoga, etc. Whatever helps my program! <\/li><li><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/blog\/\" target=\"_blank\">Writing an article<\/a> for this blog (yes, that was a shameless plug. You can do it! hint hint, nudge nudge ?)<\/li><li>Most powerful of all &#8211; Step 12 work! Working with newcomers and relapsing members: sharing my experience with them, answering their questions, being supportive, and being available to their calls. (Even if I\u2019m sober one day, I can still help someone with less than a day)<\/li><li>Anything else you find that has a positive effect on your recovery<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>I don&#8217;t have to do &#8217;em all, but more is better!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(If you check out our <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/daily-recovery-routines\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Daily Recovery Routines article<\/a>, try counting how many sober actions per day our really sober members take! Why are they really sober? Your guess!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some more points:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Some actions are more powerful than others<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;ve found that the more difficult or uncomfortable the action is, the more &#8220;sober power&#8221; it has.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Chatting with a close program friend is fine, but sharing my story with a newcomer is more powerful &#8211; for both them and me. Sharing in a meeting is nice, but if I instead lead with my weakness, and share something I&#8217;m ashamed of with everyone in the room, that releases an extraordinary spiritual force that I feel for days afterward. (In general, if I&#8217;m turning red and possibly sweating by the end of my share, it was probably a good one!) The more difficult the amends, the greater the relief. Talking to my HP on my knees at length about someone I&#8217;m obsessed with is much more effective than quickly mumbling &#8220;God bless them&#8221;. And so on. <em>&#8220;The measure we gave was the measure we got back&#8221;<\/em> &#8211; big actions bring big results!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the small ones are great too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>My balance decreases when I neglect it<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Alas, my balance doesn&#8217;t last long! If I&#8217;ve taken a bunch of sober actions, I feel great (a meeting, called my sponsor, and 5 calls! woo!). But by the next day, my degree of spiritual connection has already started to fade a little. I need to freshen it up with new action every day to stay comfortable. If I don&#8217;t, my balance will decline, and I&#8217;ll begin to feel worse. After several days of inaction, I&#8217;m beyond isolated and am getting painfully close to the &#8220;edge of the cliff&#8221;. After a week or two, I face almost certain relapse. Indeed, about 6 months ago I badly neglected my program for about 2 weeks, and nearly lost my sobriety as a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fortunately, I have merely to pick up the &#8220;kit of spiritual tools&#8221; to get right back on track!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>What about the Steps?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>My first sponsor used to tell me &#8211; &#8220;do you only want dessert, or do you also want the main course?&#8221;. I obviously won&#8217;t \u201cenlarge my spiritual life\u201d (AA p. 35) if all I do is make phone calls &#8211; I need the Steps to clean me out and show me how to live.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My experience with the Steps is that working them makes me feel much better. Steps 4-9 clean away my past, which makes me <em>much<\/em> more comfortable in the now.<em> However, it is just as important that I continue to work my daily actions, which include the attitudes of 1-2-3, and the actions of 10-11-12.<\/em> If you look over the above list of recovery actions, they&#8217;re almost all either actual Step work, or &#8220;practicing these principles in all our affairs&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Steps are <em>not<\/em> a one time process. They are a &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/a-whole-new-way-of-life\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/a-whole-new-way-of-life\/\">whole new way of life<\/a>&#8221; that I must practice every day if I want to remain comfortable, serene, and yes, sober.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Conclusion<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In short: It&#8217;s a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/a-program-of-action\/\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/a-program-of-action\/\">program of action<\/a>! Take lots of them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And finally:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>I don&#8217;t need to do it perfectly &#8211; in fact, I\u2019ve personally been slacking off on my program the last few days, so I&#8217;m gonna need to make some calls after this \ud83d\ude09<\/li><li>If I let things slide a little, I don&#8217;t need to beat myself up. I just need to boost my balance back to a good place with some new actions, that&#8217;s all.<\/li><li>I may not feel perfect every day, even with a good recovery balance. But at least until the negative feelings pass, I won\u2019t be at risk of relapse. I can try to feel and accept my emotions instead. In time, my moods usually turns around.<\/li><li>And if I want to feel more connected, comfortable, and serene, all it usually takes is a little more action.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>A question to ask myself &#8211; how\u2019s <em>my <\/em>recovery bank account? Is it full? Close to overdraft? Shrinking? Growing? What can I do regularly to get myself a healthy recovery account?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I wonder if this is along the lines of Dr. Bob&#8217;s saying <em>&#8220;I spend a great deal of time passing on what I learned to others\u2026 every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.&#8221;<\/em> (AA p. 181). Sure enough, Dr Bob never stopped passing it on, and he never slipped either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When my &#8220;bank account balance&#8221; is good, I feel great. And when my recovery is healthy, I hope it helps me be of use to others as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I hope you find this idea helpful in your own recovery!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div style=\"height:100px\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"wp-block-spacer\"><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-heading\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\">? New Article every Monday!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><meta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\">Join our weekly email list to get all our future articles, directly to your inbox!<\/p>\n\n\n[mailjet_subscribe widget_id=&#8221;2&#8243;]\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n<div class=\"crp_related   crp_related_block   crp-grid\"><h3>You might also like<\/h3><ul><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/working-a-food-program-and-sa-sobriety\/\"     class=\"crp_link post-1025\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-150x150.jpg\" class=\"crp_featured crp_thumb crp_thumbnail\" alt=\"Issue 36\" style=\"\" title=\"Working a Food Program and SA Sobriety\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/Issue-36-768x768.jpg 768w\" \/><\/figure><span class=\"crp_title\">Working a Food Program and SA Sobriety<\/span><\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/8-lessons-ive-learned-about-sa-recovery\/\"     class=\"crp_link post-1002\"><figure><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" 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srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33-768x768.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/Issue-33-768x768.jpg 768w\" \/><\/figure><span class=\"crp_title\">I&#8217;m Still a Newcomer<\/span><\/a><\/li><\/ul><div class=\"crp_clear\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Para espa\u00f1ol, haga clic aqu\u00ed Hey everybody, I&#8217;m Michoel and I&#8217;m a sexaholic. What&#8217;s this, no applause? Anyway&#8230;. On the day of my first meeting, I found myself sitting in the office of a long-term sober member. It was the first time I&#8217;d ever told another human being about my problem. He told me many&hellip;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/my-recovery-bank-account\/\" rel=\"bookmark\">Read More &raquo;<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">My Recovery Bank Account<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":829,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"[\"title\",\"meta\",\"thumbnail\",\"content\",\"post-navigation\",\"comments\"]","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[64,23,18,67,24,66,11,28],"class_list":["post-827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-roadtofreedom","tag-actions","tag-daily-recovery","tag-higher-power","tag-inventory","tag-one-day-at-a-time","tag-program-of-action","tag-recovery","tag-sponsorship"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=827"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":933,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/827\/revisions\/933"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/829"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sa-israel.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}